Sometimes, certain topics that come to me don’t need 500 or more words. Sometimes, they’re better in brief than they are at length, and because today seems to be one of those days where no one particular idea seems to be dominating my mind, I’m just going to put them all together in one post and share them. Consider this a behind-the-scenes look at my creative process. ONE DAY, WE WON’T EVER TALK AGAIN… a post in which I discuss how the words, “Don’t ever talk to me again” are pretty much pointless. Excerpt: There are a handful of women from my past who never told me they didn’t want to talk to me ever again, who last I checked were still cool with me, and I with them. Though what’s odd is how I haven’t spoken to them or heard from them in ages and I didn’t even realize it until months and sometimes years had gone. I always wonder how those women are doing and of course, I wonder if they wonder how I am doing.

FIVE WAYS YOUR FACEBOOK PAGE TURNED ME OFF…a post in which I list five things I am easily turned off by after I see a girl’s Facebook page. Excerpt: 5) Her Favorite Quotes Are All Her Own: Girl, why do you insist on quoting yourself so much? What kind of self-righteous, narcissism that? What’s funny is how the quotes they do write are almost never worth re-quoting, which means not only do they talk to themselves too much, they think what they say to themselves is actually hot. THERE’S BEING SINGLE AND THEN THERE’S BEING WITH YOU…a post in which I try to break down the difference between a man who wants to be single and a man who just doesn’t want to be in a relationship with a woman.

Excerpt: Yes there are those men who know when they’re staring a gift horse in the mouth and choose to walk anyway because the single life is twice as good without anyone else. But those men won’t lie about who they are. The men I’m talking about are the ones who start something with a woman, only to never finish it, and the women who refuse to acknowledge the real reason why Some women don’t know the difference between the man who wants to be single and a man who just doesn’t like them enough to take it to the next level. They convince themselves the man is the one with the problem, the one with commitment issues, that’s why he doesn’t want to get into a relationship. Well the truth is the only problem the man has is committing to you because in his eyes, there’s something about you that’s not quite right, and he’d much rather you stick around while he figures it out. ONE MUSTACHE, TWO GIRLS… a post in which I talk about the time in my life I was in two relationships with two women simultaneously and how my mustache (or lack thereof) almost always got me in trouble.

Excerpt: Funny how whenever I shaved off my mustache, one girlfriend thought I did it for her, and when I grew out my mustache, the other girlfriend thought I was doing it for her too. The truth is I wasn’t trying to satisfy either one of them more than the other, I was simply doing what I wanted to do. It was the same line of thinking I applied to dating both of them at the same time. THINGS THEY DO IN MOVIES THAT DON’T HAPPEN IN REAL LIFE…a post in which I break down certain things men and women do in movies but in real life, either never happen or aren’t as good as they look on the screen. Excerpt: Shower sex is always better in the movies than it is in real life. In the movies, it always looks so smooth, and what’s crazy is the man and woman actually look like they took a shower just to have sex, as though the porcelain or marble tile and slippery floors are way more comfortable than a bed’s cushioned mattress and soft sheets. Do they ever look like they went in to the shower to wash the dirt off their bodies? No. And save the song-and-dance about how maybe I’m just not doing shower sex right. How about we just call a spade a spade and say, shower sex in real life sucks and movies lie. Feel free to comment on any or all of the topics. I’ll see you all on Monday.